THE BIRDS AND THE COFFEE

While standing in the kitchen this morning trying to figure out how to fit a gallon of iced coffee into my 30 ounce tumbler, Lee came bounding in. As I stand at the island struggling with my current predicament, he leans back against the counter opposite me and watches silently for a few seconds.

“Hey Mom, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I’m so so sorry the doctor had to cut your tummy open with a knife to get me out of there,” he says with a hand on his hip and a sudden concerned look on his face.

Glancing at the clock above his head, I see that it is 6:20 A.M. and try to figure out what I ever did for God to put me in this position before 7 A.M. on a Monday.

“Well bud, you were very much worth it, but that isn’t exactly how it happened,” I tell him. Sending up a prayer that he doesn’t ask any more questions because D has already left for work and, like I said, I am un-caffeinated.

“So then how did I get out of your belly then? Your belly button?” he asks.

“I grew you in my tummy, but I pushed you out through my lady parts,” I answer him.

“That’s really cool Mom. I was cuter when I came out than Evie was though, right?” he asks, with a grin that takes over his entire little man face.

“Hallelujuah!” I think to myself. I managed to skate by without lying to him or scarring him for the day. Thank you to the heavens above for short attention spans and big egos.

“You two looked a lot alike, actually. Except she had really dark hair and you had really light hair,” I tell him as Evie walks up to us, thrusting her empty juice cup into my hands.

“I want more juice now,” she says as she turns on her heel and stomps away. I put her cup on the counter and wait for her to come back and remember her manners before I submit to her demand.

“Anyway, I’m definietly nicer, that’s for sure,” he says as he pushes himself away from the cabinets and walks into the living room, like nothing happened. Like my life didn’t just flash before my eyes.

But, anyway.. !

Scroll down for pics from Grandpa & Nana’s house this weekend……

xxx A

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