Ramblings of a 4 year old

With Evie beginning to talk more, Lee has taken it upon himself to start monologuing. Actual monologuing. He will spout out full paragraphs at a time without pausing long enough at any point for you to answer or respond.

Here are a few examples..

Today is Friday, which means yesterday was Thursday, which means yesterday was Christmas Eve and today is Christmas. Mom, you forgot Christmas. Today is Christmas. I didn’t put up the tree or feed the reindeer or leave cookies for Santa. Oh my goodness Mom, Santa is going to be so upset. How could you forget Christmas?

“Lee, it’s February 5th. Today is not Christmas.”

Well, if you say so.

At school today, my friend Elizabeth said that I wasn’t her best friend. She said Mary L is her best friend and that made me sad, but then I remembered that Bodie is actually my best friend too and so I was okay. And then Elizabeth was mean to me and Mary L was telling me what to do and so I told them to go away. But then I had to sit between them on the carpet at carpet time and I got real mad.

“Oh yeah?”

Yeah. But then Elizabeth wanted to sit on the apple picture on the ABC carpet but my teacher told me to sit on the apple picture so I didn’t let her. She got real mad and sat on my lap, so I bit her. But Mom, it was an accident. I did not mean to bite her. But I did. I bit her on the neck.

“How do you accidentally bite someone on the neck?”

I don’t know but it was definitely an accident.

We have to celebrate this whole house for Valentine’s Day. Do you know what I’m talking about? Valentine’s Day? With hearts and candy and cards and stuff. I have a Valentine at school, she’s a girl. And Evie can be my Valentine too I guess. Evie, do you want to be my Valentine? Evie? Evie, hello, I’m talking to you about being my Valentine. Listen to me little baby, do you want to be my Valentine or do you not want to be my Valentine? Well, if you’re not going to answer me then I guess you won’t be my Valentine and that makes me really sad because I asked you yesterday and you said yes, so I guess you are being mean to me. But, it’s okay. You can be mean to me because I love you even when you’re mean. I have to go potty now Evie, do you want to come play with me in my room after I potty or no? Hello! Mom, Evie is ignoring me, she can be so crazy sometimes.

Mom, are you eating a cookie? Is that a cookie? Can I have a bite? How many do you have? I’m just going to take one for me and one for Evie, okay? Wow, that’s delicious. Do you want me to help you pick out your clothes for work tomorrow Mom, or do you got it? Here, let’s go to your room and you lift me up high and I will pick out a hanger for you. What is on the tv? I’ll go check. Is this Top Gear? Is that James May? I love James May. Mom, what color sweater did you pick? Mom, no, put that back and let me pick. Pick me up, I can’t reach. Wait wait, put me down, I hear James May talking. Where’s Dad? Dad, why are you ironing your shirt? Is it dirty? Are you gonna wear that one tomorrow? Did you pick out pants? Do you want me to get your pants for you?

P.S. Evie’s current favorite phrase is “Move Momma!”

xxx A

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