I was late for work this morning….
It was 6:40 A.M. Both children were clean and dressed. We should have been heading out to the car to leave for school.
But, we weren’t.
Lee was on my right, laying on the couch with his head in my lap. My right hand in his hair, gently scratching. Evie was on my left, laying into and against me. Her sweet face resting against my chest. My left arm around her and hand holding the side of her face so that she was tight against me. They were both calm, they were both quiet.
I watched the clock on the microwave, minutes ticking by. And for once, I didn’t care one bit.
Do you ever feel like you are spread too thin? There’s your job, your work family, your family, your spouse, your spouse’s family, your kids, your friends. So many people.. and just one of you.
Granted, that one you is incredibly blessed beyond measure to have so many people in her life that care about her and love her.. but man.
You feel spread so thin.
Pulled in so many different directions. Constantly questioning if there’s really enough of you to go around..? You need to be Super Mom, you need to be Super Banker, you need to be Super Daughter.
“Did I snap at my Mom earlier when she called to check on me?” Crap, better call her back and make sure I didn’t.
“Did I love on Lee enough tonight? Evie was attached to me and I don’t remember holding him once.” Off to his room I go to hold him while he falls asleep.
“Did I thank Daniel for cooking dinner while I sat on the counter, drinking half a bottle of wine and complaining about the day I had?” Where is that saint of a man, better go kiss him.
Constantly replaying everything, making notes in my phone to remind myself about something we need from the store, somebody to call tomorrow, just going, going, going.
And then.. you are given a time like this. Seventeen solid minutes of both babies just quietly loving on you. It sounds crazy, but you can almost feel your soul being re-aligned in moments like this. Everything is okay. Everything is great. And you are as you should be.
I’ve never been so grateful for Netflix’s horrible singing cartoons as I was this morning.
This same time yesterday, Evie snatched a Poptart from Lee. He snatched it back. She pushed him. He told her she was being mean and that she shouldn’t push him. So, she smacked him across the face. He cried. I popped her booty and she cried. Both trudged to the car red faced and teary-eyed.
But, not this morning.
This morning, I was given grace. And I’ve never been more grateful.