My sweet Lee Thomas,
I hope that you always know how loved you are. I hope that you know how badly we wanted and needed you, before you existed.
We prayed for you every day.
When I first found out that I was pregnant with you, I cried like a baby. I talked to you every day after that. Do you remember? I know that you don’t, but I would like to think that you do. Every single day, driving to and from work, I would turn down the radio and just talk to you. I would tell you my hopes and dreams for you. Sometimes you would kick or flip right after I said something, those times were my favorite of my pregnancy. My boy.
When I first saw your face, you looked so much like your Daddy. I was reaching for you as soon as the doctor held you up. And then, when the nurse laid you on my chest, I thought my heart might burst.
You snuggled into me so quickly. You brought both arms up and laid your sweet little head down on my chest.
When Daddy couldn’t take it anymore, I sat up and held you in my arms so that we could take you in. You were perfect. You are perfect. You will always be perfect.
You stared right into my eyes. I remember asking you if you knew who I was. Of course you did, we had already had so many deep conversations. You knew my heart and you knew my soul because you are my heart, and you are my soul.
I had to hand you over to Daddy for a minute and when I did, the tears streamed down his face. He has been in awe of you since that very moment.
You made him so proud. You will always make him so very proud.
Here is what I hope life holds for you:
- I hope that you are brave. I pray that you are able to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.
- I hope that you are kind. Even now, when you see that someone is upset, you hand them your stuffed Puppy to love on. I pray that you never lose your compassion for others.
- I hope that you love as openly, and as genuinely, as much as you do now, for the rest of your days. You love everyone, my boy. You walk into a room and you show love to every single person there, whether you know them or not. Please never stop doing that.
- I hope that you find someone who loves you (almost) as much as I do. I will know when I meet her if she does or not, and I will tell you if she is worthy of you. And you will listen to me, my son. Let that sink in. You will listen to me when it comes to this.
- And finally, I hope that you are happy. I don’t care if you are a doctor or a garbage man, just be happy. Take pride in whatever it is that you choose to do, or dedicate your life to, and please, just be happy.
You are the light of my life (and your Daddy’s too). We will continue to love you more than we love ourselves forever. Never forget that.