In a little over two weeks, D and I will have been married for 4 years.
He brought this up in conversation this past Sunday as were driving past the spot where we said our vows. My initial reaction was to stick my tongue out at him and say, “Eww gross, get away from me already.”
Since I’ve (almost) been married for four years and I have been with my boo (did you gag when I said “boo”?) for nearly seven years, let me hit you with some knowledge I have acquired about relationships.
First of all, your significant other will never be able to read your mind when you actually want them to. I can ask D to pick up a tub of ice cream or a bottle of wine on his way home and he will almost always get the exact kind that I want without me mentioning it to him. He can bring me a snack or a beverage without me asking for it or without me realizing I wanted it before it is presented to me. (One time when I was pregnant with Lee, he brought me a bowl of Lucky Charms and I cried for 5 minutes. True story.)
But if Lee just went down for a nap and I want to take a shower, wash the dishes, mop the house, and fold the laundry while he is napping…I have to lay these things out.
Nothing irritates me more than finishing up one thing on my list and seeing D plopped down on the couch, playing on his phone. Like did you not hear the dryer just go off? Do you not see me over here doing things? However, what’s slightly insane about the female psyche is that I do not want to tell him to get the clothes out of the dryer or wash the dishes in the sink, I want him to just know that is what I want.
And then, other times, I would just rather do it myself. Like it would honestly upset me if he took it upon himself to do it. He has no way of knowing which way this is going to go. He has a 50/50 shot at all times. And to be completely honest, I’m genuinely surprised at how often he gets it right. Poor guy.
Secondly, D has taught me how to fight fairly. In the beginning, whenever I got upset with him and I would say that he “always” or “never” did something. I would assume that he was doing something, or he had said something, with the specific intent of hurting me. When, really, he was just oblivious. In these instances, what I really wanted was for him to apologize for making me feel the way that he did. And he does that now.
Also in the beginning, I would get upset and try to leave. Leave the room. Leave the house. Just get away from him. And he would never let me. He would always be right on my heels. I am a very stubborn person, and he has the rare ability to make me see something from his point of view. I feel like that’s important.
Now don’t let me lie to you, sometimes he is just a complete pain in the ass and I can’t even deal with him. And he may, or may not, be able to say the same thing about me. Every night as we’re turning out the lights and getting situated for the night, D gives me three quick kisses. Always three. And always, always. On occasion I will be annoyed with him and have my back to him, in which case, I get three cheek kisses. After a few minutes, I always go over to him to return his kisses. There are some things that you just cannot do and leaving a man to sleep through the night without kisses is just one of them.
Finally, and most importantly, respect your significant other. Always. Don’t snap at them in front of anyone, don’t humiliate them in front of anyone, just don’t. Just. Don’t.
I honestly believe that respect is the most important gift you could ever give someone you love.
What about ya’ll? Let me know what you’ve learned from your relationships, I’m always learning!